All Grown Up and Telling the Truth
by Dimitria.ang
Summary: Set two years into the future: Sydney is taken and Jill is sent back to Court to talk all about Sydney. What happens when she comes face to face with the sister that never wanted her. Jill is all grown up and telling and telling the truth about how she feels. Rated M for colorful language.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay this is an idea I have had for awhile. It is set two years into the future. Everything in Bloodlines has happened along with some other things. Read to find out. Also Jill has grown up and is not the same quiet girl she has been. That is what happens in life. Read and Review **

Jill's POV:

"Sydney we are going to -" My voice catches when I enter her room. Nothing is there. Her mattress is gone, all her books and clothes are missing too. It is like she was never here; like they just erased who she is from the world. I look everywhere trying to find something that reminds me of Sydney. I try to find some way of remembering what she did for all of us. But I can't. Someone took her away and everything and anything that could be linked to her. She is gone. I don't know how long I sat there, in the center of her room crying my eyes out. The world could have come crashing down and I wouldn't have cared or noticed. All my thoughts kept going back to Sydney and that I would never see her again.

…

"Jill?" Eddie says poking his head into the room. He is wearing his guardian mask. Whatever he is going to say it will not be good.

"What?" My voice coming out harsher than it was meant to be. But I couldn't bring myself to care. If Sydney was here she would have scolded me for being mean and would act like my big sister or mother. Thinking about Sydney made me want to start sobbing all over again. Eddie seeing I was going to go into another crying fit came and sat next to me, wrapping me in his arms, trying to comfort me.

"It's okay Jill." He repeats till I am no longer shaking or on the verge of tears. "No one could believe it."' Well that through me off guard.

"What are you talking about?" I ask Eddie, pulling away slightly to see his guardian mask still intact.

"You didn't here? I thought for sure that is why you are here like this." He stands up and starts to pace. I jump up and stand right in front of him so he can't run away from this.

"What are you talking about?" My voice came out as cold as ice; I barely recognized I was the one who said it. Eddie took a few steps away from me as if I would blow up on him because of what he had to say.

"Jill," He starts "Sydney was removed by the Alchemist." Why is Eddie stating the obvious! Who else would take her?

"Yeah, I got that." Sounding more annoyed be the second "What I want to know is how we are going to get her back? We should probably call Lissa and Rose because they care for her and wouldn't want to see her in re-education. Dimitri and Sonya should come too. We need to get them here soon so she isn't that far away." The look on Eddie's face made me stop. The look is a combination of pity, sadness, and also a secret. Eddie is keeping something from me. "What aren't you tell me Eddie?"

"Sydney was taken because she can practice magic. It was a collaborative effort by Lissa and the Alchemist. She could have hurt you, Jill. Every minute you spent with Sydney your life was in danger. Sydney's magic is a ticking time bomb and she could have hurt you Jill. You are being sent back to Court to be debriefed on the whole situation." Any and all color drained from my face. Any emotion that I could have possibly felt, Left me at that moment.

"What about the law?" If the law hadn't changed that means that I could be walking into my own death.

"The new law is being signed into effect as we speak. You are safe Jill." Eddie wrapped me in his arms at that moment. I didn't respond. It is more like I couldn't respond to him. Everything didn't seem to add up. Sydney wouldn't hurt me with her magic, everyone knew that…. Wait …. Only Adrian and myself knew that Sydney could even do magic. Adrian would not have told anyone that secret he knew what it meant if it got out. I sure as hell didn't tell anyone her secret. Sydney meant the world to me. I wouldn't betray her like that. Plus Sydney is too smart to tell on herself. That means someone has been spying on us and decided to take her away from me.

…..

It had been an amazing two years. Even though Sydney didn't go to school with us anymore we still saw her all the time. She had her own apartment in Palm Springs but you wouldn't ever find her there. Nope she moved in with Adrian after graduation and the two of them had been joined at the hip ever since. Sydney's apartment is four doors down from Adrian's and that is where they store paintings or old spell books or just random crap. I swear in the next few months Adrian was planning on popping the question to Sydney. That is how much they are in love. They are truly so perfect together. They acted like they were already married and they were the parents of the Melrose's. Well the only acted in love around me. Adrian and Sydney had managed to keep their relationship on the down low along with her magic abilities. Even Zoe never suspected a thing, and that girl can catch even the tiniest flaw.

It had been an amazing two years. I am in my second semester of my senior year. Everyone talked about how they couldn't wait to be out of Amberwood but I would always miss it. Amberwood is home to me. The better way of saying that is that Palm Springs is home to me. In Palm Springs there is my best friend Angeline, crazy how we got super close after she dated and broke the heart of the guy I really like still, my bond mate, Adrian has become like a big brother to me, some really amazing friends, Trey and Neil to name two, and I got the sister I always dreamed off, Sydney is the best sister in the whole wide world. I love Palm Springs and my family. But all that was shattered the day Sydney was taken. Looking out the window it's hard not to be upset to be leaving that. In truth, I don't want to go to Court, I don't want to see Lissa or deal with all this political nonsense, and I don't even want to share the same last name as Lissa. No I want to stay back in Palm Springs. That is my home. But as I have learned in life it seems like I don't get what I want. It seems like I always get the short end of the stick. As the plan descends for Court all I can think is how shitty this will be and how much I could use some advice from Sydney right now.

….

"Jill she could have killed you." Lissa says in a calming voice like she is talking to a baby, and not wanting to hurt the poor baby's feelings. As soon as we touched down, I was franticly ushered out of a plan and into a car and out of a car and into the room I am sitting in now only to be brainwashed into thinking Sydney is so 'evil'. I am getting so sick and tired of people trying to tell me who Sydney Sage 'really' is. They haven't lived with her for two years. They haven't seen her create a dragon from a rock or see her sob after it died. Even though she knew she would only have Hooper for a year and a day. They haven't seen her when she talks about college or cars or coffee. No these people did not know who the real Sydney Sage is.

"Jill, are you even listening to me?" Lissa snaps. Her voice pulls me out of my thoughts and back to this depressing reality.

"It's kind of hard to block you out when you keep talking to me but trust me I'm trying my best to." I snap back at her. My plan is to keep my mouth shut to avoid saying things I would regret later, that is not working to good for me. Rose tries to hide her laugh but is given Lissa 'evil death glare,' Rose pointingly shuts up like a good guardian.

"You need to pay attention!" She says swatting right in front of me so that I can see the pity in her eyes. She thinks Sydney is a bad person. That somehow she brainwashed me into covering for her all this time and that I needed to seek some professional help. "Sydney Sage is not a good person. She was just using you and would have turned on you the first chance she got." I snapped. Without thinking of what would happen later I slap Lissa so hard she falls on her royal ass in clear shock. Standing over her body I say "You have no right to talk about her like that." Turning to walk out of the room before I did something even more stupid like killing her, I am pulled back by Dimitri.

"Lissa is The Queen; you could end up in prison for doing what he did." I knew he cared for me and just wanted to protect me but he didn't understand that being here was prison.

"You're wrong I am already in prison." I say flatly with no emotions what so ever.

"How is this prison?" Lissa asks truly stunned. "What did we ever do to you but love you to make this place prison when _Sydney_ would have used her weird magic to harm you more than anyone else could." Did she really want me to answer that? The look on her face showed that she wanted an honest answer but I knew she would regret it as soon as I open my mouth.

"You did _nothing_ that is the point! You never called or wrote or tried to be there for me. Where were you when my first boy friend tried to kill Sydney and Adrian to become a Strigoi again? Where were you when I was broke up with a human? Where were you when Angeline almost got kicked out of school for the tenth time or when she broke Eddie's heart? Where were you when Sonya was held by the Warriors of Light? You never wanted to be part of my life! I am to that conclusion a long time ago. You have always hated me because I am the black mark on your perfect family name. I get you never wanted me in your family but Sydney did. She took care of me when you were to busy to. She went out of her way to make sure I was comforted and had everything I needed and she is the most selfless person I have ever met. She protects my family: The Melrose's. She was the glue that held us all together and she made things happen.

So what if she can use magic. We all use magic! She can control her magic probably better than you, Lissa. She joined this coven and her mentor has been teaching her everything she can about magic. Her mentor almost died to help Sydney control her magic. She has made all of us a better person and she is happy. We all were happy until you decided to mess in our lives." I finally decide to take a breath of air and everyone in the room just looks at me with wide eyes. They wanted to hear my opinion right. An awkward silence fell on us then. No one talked everyone just stared at each other.

Lissa is the first to try and talk. "I am sorry if I came across that way. But she is dangerous; I mean it might have been for the better but she casted a spell over Adrian." That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my life and I have heard some messed up shit.

"Are you serious?!" I scream "Sydney didn't do such a thing. She told herself every day that she didn't have feelings for Adrian. She went as far as to date someone else and almost go to Mexico! If anything Adrian casted a spell over her. She isn't dangerous you are just a self centered Bitch!"

"Jill!" Rose and Dimitri say at the same time.

"What she is! She doesn't care about my sister! She doesn't care about Sydney. She just cares about herself and she doesn't like Sydney or me! That is why she keeps ruining my life. I would have been fine not knowing I was genetically her sister. But know I am dragged into all this royal bullshit because of her! I was having a great life with my family in Palm Springs until she ruined that too. She is a life ruiner; she ruins people's lives." After that i am sobbing. I run to my room at Court just to get away from it all.

'_Lissa hates me and she hates Sydney. Lissa took my sister away from me. She doesn't want me to be happy_.' Those are the words that are repeat in my head. It's like a chant that you can't get away from. I throw myself on my bed not caring about the covers or lights and just sob. I can't regain control over myself and I don't want to. My sister – the only sister I have ever had in my life – is gone and no one seems to care. I stay curled into a ball clutching my pillow until I cry myself to sleep.

…..

"Jailbait?" I hear Adrian call from the other side of the room. I woke up a awhile before he came in and was doing an okay job of not breaking down but as soon as I hear my old nickname I can't handle it anymore. The sobs start to come faster and more violently. Adrian scoops me up so that I am crying into his shoulder.

"She's gone Adrian." That is all I can say. I have gotten amazing at blocking out Adrian. I had too because he wanted to fool around with Sydney and I didn't want to experience that. It took us a bit but now I don't even feel his feelings if I don't want to. After all of this I couldn't deal with Adrian's feelings and my own. I would have killed myself.

"I know, I know." There is hurt in his voice but he is trying not to show it. He continues to rock me in his arms until my cries stop coming. "I am going to go find her." He says in a small voice after awhile.

"Really?" Joy starts to fill my heart. If anyone can find Sydney it will be Adrian.

"Yes." He says more bold and confident. "But I need you to stay here and be safe. I can't go looking for Sydney unless I know you will be safe." A smile creeps across my face as big brother Adrian starts to come out. I didn't want to stay at Court not at all but I wanted Sydney back and sometimes we have to make compromises.

"Fine, but only till graduation then I am moving back to Palm Springs back into your apartment." I say firmly holding my ground. Adrian lets out a slight chuckle but nods at me in the dark.

"When do you leave?" I ask wondering how much time I have left with my big brother.

"I will leave after I know you are okay and won't go off on Lissa again." Great. He had heard about my explosion onto Lissa.

"You heard about that?" I ask wearily.

"Yeah." Adrian says in a matter –of – fact tone.

"I promise I am fine and I won't do that again go and bring back my sister." He sighs and gets up from the bed. Giving me one last look he gives me the keys to his house at Court, the Mustang, and the apartments back in Palm Springs and walks out the door to find Sydney Sage.

_Don't worry Sydney Adrian will find you. _I think as I drift off into complete and utter oblivious sleep; this time holding onto the keys for dear life.

**I know! What am I doing writing a one shot and not updating my story? Well I had writers block and this idea had been rolling around in my head for some time now. Jill is older and has a lot of issues starting with abandonment from her father, her parents, and now Lissa. The only people who have been there for her were the Palm Springs crew. That is her family. I know it has a lot of yelling and drama but that is what it is like when you go through those kinds of issues. I did my homework for this one! Tell me what you think. If you hate it or like it or whatever! Also read my story Witch Academy Update coming soon for that! Love all of you! **

**DA **


	2. Chapter 2: The Letter

Chapter 2: The Letter that started it all

Stumbling out of bed at God knows what hour; I start to make some coffee. Damn this stupid backward way of living. I miss the sun and humans! You would not believe how funny humans can be and the kind of parties they throw. But that is the past and this is my horrible future. I will be heading back to the academy to finish off the rest of my high school education.

Looking outside I see the sun starting to set which marks the start of the vampiric day. There was a time when I would have welcomed in this change. There was a time where I would have been happy to move back with The Queen and start anew. But all that went up in flames the day I got her first and only letter.

_Dear Jillian,_

_I am working hard to get the new law passed but to no avail. The Riyals in Court are just stuck on tradition and they think it will cause too many changes. Whatever. But speaking of Court and Royals, I hope you remember that you are a Dragomir now and with that comes a higher level of responsibility. I want you to be studying everything Moroi related. You need to know who are the power players and you need a game plan if you will survive all their political games. I will be there – to a degree- but you really need to stand on your own two feet. I can't coddle you through this. I learned it and so will you. _

_I will write you if anything changes and I got ALL of your letters. But don't write back to this one. I am extremely busy trying to help you and I will write if anything changes. You have a duty to uphold. Welcome to the family._

_From, _

_Queen Vasilisa Sabina Rhea Dragomir- Ozera _

That letter is forever ingrained into my memory. It marked the point in which everything about my life changed. The letter came about six months into our stay in Palm Springs. A few months after Sydney and Adrian decided to get together and the evil Zoe came into town. Okay Zoe isn't evil; she just isn't like her sister.

At that point I had been sending The Queen a letter every few days or so in hopes she would respond and accept me as a sister. That didn't happen. She wrote a very short letter telling me that she only saw me as a necessary part of her rule. She did not see me as a sister nor would she never see me that way. That day I spent and I think the next four after that balling my eyes out. I didn't talk to anyone expect for Sydney. She was the one to wash my clothes and bring me food and talked to me when no one else could. Those days of complete hell I wasn't Jill Dragomir the princess in hiding or Jill Dragomir the girl whose sister hates her; no I was and from then on Jill Melrose just a girl.

Thinking of Sydney and how we really started to get close made me want to break down all over again. But if I did, there would be no one to help me pick up the pieces and make sense of my crazy life. So I push down my tears and emotions and put on mask and walk out the door to meet up with The Queen and her people so they can try and pull information out of me.

"Jill all we want to know is where Sydney learned magic from." The Queen says in a soothing tone like I am five. Yeah like that is all what you want to know. We have been going at this for three hours now. The Queen will ask me a question and will say I don't know and then she will rephrase her question and blah blah blah. I have gotten so sick of this.

"I don't know, your Highness." I say in an equally soothing yet belittling voice. I promised I wouldn't yell at her anymore but I ever said I would be nice to her.

"Look" Rose starts obviously getting tired with this whole game as I am "We are trying to help you. You have been around her for so long you can't see what she has become. At one point she was my friend but not anymore. She has killed people with her magic and she isn't who she was. Now you can either give us this information and have a private tutor her at Court where no one will bother you or you can stay in denial and we send you back to the academy where no doubt the Royals will skin you alive." Wow, I am touched by the amount of passion she put into her deal. She has been spending too much time with her father but so have I. Abe – for whatever reason- saw Sydney as another daughter to him and in recent months has spent a great deal of time in Palm Springs. He taught me how to make deals and how to blackmail. It was fun. So I am not fazed by this deal hell I thought Rose would have said it a long time ago and I never thought that they would actually keep me here at Court where I can cause problems. It is much easier to keep me away from Court. They have proven that to be true the last two years.

"Someone has been spending too much time with Daddy dearest." I say in a sing song voice. "Look, I know you guys aren't going to keep me her at Court no matter what you say so let's call a spade a spade. I am going back to the academy whether I want to or not, you guys just want my information and let me put it plainly to you. I will not tell you anything when it comes to Palm Springs. Period, end of discussion. Now" I say turning to face Rose head on "You might think you know how making deals goes and you might think you spend a good amount of time with your father to know that but here is a news flash: He likes Sydney more. He was always in Palm Springs for whatever reason and because Sydney is my sister I got to hang around him more than you. He taught me the ends of outs of everything he does and how to do it. Your deal is a piece of shit and everything I have told you – while true- has been to hurt you. Everything I just said was to make sure you doubt how much your father loves you and to get you back for every mean thing you have ever said about my sister because you will act like it means nothing but my words will eat you alive at night. You're welcome. Now if you will excuse me I have to repack so I can go to hell."

Walking out of the room I am fuming. I didn't yell or cause a scene but what I did was much worse. I shattered every picture she had about her family and while it wasn't nice and you probably can call me a bitch – hell I am a bitch – Rose and the Queen ruined my life. They stole everything away from me so if they wanted to talk to me be ready for two years of bent up hurt, anger, and abandonment issues to be flung at your face. I am not the same little naïve girl I had been once upon a time. I have changed and I like to think I am a nice person but if you cross my family shit will hit the fan.

"Rose, she didn't mean it." I say to my best friend trying to soothe her. We have been best friends all of our lives and sisters for the same amount of time. What Jill said to her was downright cruel. Adrian promised that she wouldn't yell at us anymore but I would take yelling over ruining people's lives. She doesn't think before she talks and she was right about one thing: there is no way she is staying at Court. She has to learn how to bite her tongue. Not everything she will say is magical and appropriate.

"Yes, she did and I have a feeling she I also right." Dimitri looks at me now. What else can I say to her? Her father loves her dearly; she is his only child. Abe and Jeanne have gotten back together and they go to family counseling sometimes. There is so much love in that family.

"I need to talk to him." Dimitri and I don't try to stop her. She needs to talk things out with her father; I just hope things don't end badly between them. I would hate for Jill's evil words to have ruined yet another person's life. God I will have to talk to her on that one!

Jill has always been such a quite girl who if you ever got to talk wouldn't shut up. She could ramble like no other and I know for a fact that Christian thought of her as a little sister. I just don't know why she I acting so mean. She wasn't that close to Sydney no matter she says. My source told me for a fact that Sydney wasn't close to any of them. Sydney if fact was pulling more and more away from the group. I will have to get Jill into therapy for her anger problem. It just won't do. She is a princess for Christ's sake!

"What do you need to talk to me about kiz?" Abe says walking into the room in all of his pop and flare. He had on a blood red suit and a black shirt underneath. The shirt had a white geometric design that matched his pocket square. He had on a lot of gold too today and was no sporting a ruby incrusted cane.

"How many times have you been to Palm Springs?" Rose asks deadpan. Abe's face changes into a hard mask and he looks like an extremely pissed off man.

"What happened to Sydney?" He answers back with a question.

"How do you know something happened to Sydney?" I pipe in. The alchemist assured me that no one other than me, Rose, Dimitri, and Christian would know about Sydney's removal.

"Because Your Highness, the only way my daughter would how if I was spending time in Palm Springs would be if she was talking to Jill and seeing as Jill hates Rose and yourself that would been whatever she said was out of spite because something happened to Sydney and Adrian by default. She wouldn't leave Palm Springs unless she was forced to so I ask again: What happened to Sydney."

"Sydney has been removed from Palm Springs and the new law passed a few weeks ago that made it possible for Jill to come home and now mine and Rose's question is why do you care what happened to Sydney?" I say in my most queenly voice.

Abe takes a sharp breath inward "take a seat you three this is one story you won't believe and do not think you know the story of the Sydney, Adrian, and Jill because it is not what you think. I was called six months after the crew went to Palm Springs by Eddie because Jill was held up in her room refusing to eat or talk or move and no one knew why. She had been like that for two days at that point and the group was pretty desperate. I really didn't know what could be going on in poor Jillian's head. Maybe too much darkness who knows. But Sydney started to go in and check on her. It is because of Sydney you have a sister your Highness."

"I have always had a sister Abe." I say proudly looking toward Rose. Abe just shakes his head and continues on

"Sydney got her to talk and eat and shower. It came to light that Jill realized her blood sister would never want anything to do with her. That she sent her a letter saying that she was no more than a pawn or a means to an end. She is Dragomir by blood but the Queen would never accept her as her sister. That tore Jill apart. But she had Adrian and Sydney to help put her back together. Soon those three became a family. They watched out for each other and talked to each other and new everything about each other. With everything Sydney had to fight against like: evil witches after her, warriors of light trying to ruin her life, and not to mention her little sister always snooping around for Sydney's weakness Sydney relied heavily on Jill and Adrian. Now let's not forget about Jill: Her parents sent her a letter telling her they wanted nothing to do with her, The Queen wants nothing to do with her, and everyone has mostly turned their back on her even Eddie. I started to visit because I wanted to know the mental health of the princess before anyone and what I saw shocked me. Sydney could do magic, was dating Adrian, and she was actually happy, Jill became outspoken, outgoing and making it to captain of the volleyball team, and Adrian had been going to college for an art degree and had made a name for himself in the Palm Springs Art world. Somehow these three people who the world decided didn't deserve a chance or happiness found happiness in each other and found a way to rise above. That is Jill's family right there and someone you not only took her away from her first family and turned them against her before she knew she was a Dragomir now you have torn her second family apart. You three have ruined her life twice now so it is understandable if she hates you." Then turning to Rose "But Kid I still love you and your mom very much and I don't like Sydney or Jill more than you. You are my first and only child and I love you dearly. But I think you all should give Jill time to put her life back together now that she is back and has no one." I was in complete and udder shock. How dare he say I ruined her life twice! I never asked for a sister or for my dad to cheat on my mom. I had Rose and all I needed in life was Rose. I feel bad that her parents gave up on her like that but I didn't ruin her life. Sydney ruined her life. If anything she should hate Sydney and one way or other I will show her that.

**A/N: Like it? Hate it? Feel the need to slap Lissa? I decided to take a stab at writing more for this story. I have no clue how it will turn out and it will only continue if people want it too. So if you want to see more of this story then review! It's not blackmail or holding the story hostage it's just that I like the idea and could make a story but I don't want to waste my time if no one wants to read it. Review! :D Also have a great Easter. **

**DA**


	3. Chapter 3: New School

Chapter 3: New at School

Jill's POV:

Have you ever wondered why everyone seems to hate the new kid? I mean when you go to high school and you're new and different it's like you have this huge sign on you back that says 'Hate me, please make my life awful.' It had been that way at the academy ever since I could remember and if my memory served me right I wasn't the most liked kid there either. I talked way too much and way too fast for anyone to really care about me but then I met Rose and Christian and I guess I found a friend group.

Even before The Queen knew I was her sister she hated me. If you can instantly hate someone that is a serious talent. I mean sure you might like someone when you first meet them but to just instantly hate someone you must know something no one else does. You must be able to see through all their bullshit to instantly hate them. But can you instantly hate someone who is a good person? And can you continue to hate that person even though they are more of a victim than you are? It wasn't like The Queen's life completely changed after getting the news I was her sister. I know she became Queen and all that fun stuff but she still had her friends, her family, and two whole races of people loved her. It's not like she was thought of like an object, or it's not like the Queen died. No, none of that happened to the beloved Queen. She got all the good out of that day while my life fell to shit. But I shouldn't think of it like that because in hindsight I think I faired quiet better than her. I got a big brother and sister a great best friend and a family I would kill for. I love my life even though it is crazy and mess up I love it. Or maybe I loved it. I loved Jill Melrose's life. God did she take Palm Springs for granted. Jill Dragomir's life however is not so great. In fact it down right shitty. But can you really be two different people or just one person die so the other will live?

"Jillian do you know the answer?" A teacher asks from the front of the class. I am in History or English or some class; I am not really paying much attention to anything. I feel like having a philosophical debate about the status of my life and just really understanding who I am. Sydney would be all for it and we would talk for hours. It is our tradition if either one of us is going through something crazy we would sit down and debate every side, every angle, every little word, until we understood the problem or just ended laughing on the floor both content with life. Adrian in those times would silently make us food or watch as our debates went from logical to illogical to downright stupid.

"No I am sorry; I don't know what the answer is." I should get points for how polite that sentence came out. I have been at the Academy for over a week and it is how I remember it. No it is worse because all the rumors are about me, every stares at me, everyone makes fun of me or tries to sugar coat everything because I am related to the Queen.

The teacher takes in a sharp breath as if debating whether or not to send me to the principal's office. I think this is the fifth time I have been taught not paying attention in class and with my history out there for the whole to know, some staff thinks that I am not readjusting well. To be honest I agree because I don't want to readjust.

"Pack up your things and head to the principal's office." I do as she says without question or comment. It's not like there was anything else she could do. When I get outside I see Dimitri standing against the wall. The Queen has sent him as my personal guardian incase I kill someone. He is here more to protect everyone else from the crazy princess than to protect the crazy princess.

"Why are you out early?" That is such a dumb question. Why else would I be out of class early.

"I got kicked out and I am being sent to the principal's office." I say while walking in the direction of the head office. Dimitri falls into line with me but doesn't comment on anything until I am seated in front of the Headmistress Kirova herself. I am surprised that Rose didn't give her a stroke with all the stress Rose puts into someone's life.

"Jillian, you are a start girl. You got a 4.0 GPA when you were here last and when you were at Amberwood. You also took college classes at a community college and did beautifully, why do you suddenly not care? This isn't like you." The headmistress is really a nice woman who cares about her students we used to have lunch together a lot because I didn't have friends and she wasn't busy.

"Jillian has gone through a very traumatic event in her life and I think it would be good to get her therapy." Dimitri says piping into a conversation that he has no business getting into.

"I don't need or want therapy." I say coldly.

"Then what do you need?" The headmistress says in a gentle voice as if I was fine china ready to break at any moment.

"I need my sister." It barely comes out as a whisper because if I said it any louder than I would have broken down. It has been three weeks since Sydney was taken and I thought I am doing a great job of putting on a brave face and being a part of the world. If it was up to me then I would stay in bed with no light coming in and just sit and wait till she came home. I would cry and cry and cry till I saw my sister again.

"The Queen is at court." The headmistress would have continued if it was not for my chilling glare. That glare strikes the fear of God into man.

"The Queen isn't my sister. My sister was taken away from me and my best friend and brother have gone out to find her. If you want me to be better or like I was then send me back to Palm springs and save my sister." It wasn't a shout but more of a plea. A plea for normalcy and a plea for my old life back. I want to go to a school where I am not talked about and thought of as an object. I want to go to a school where my best friend is my roommate and my brother is just a phone call away. I want to go to a school where I'm not expected to be anything other than a teenage girl. I want to go back to three weeks ago when the only worry I had was the big game coming up. I want to cry.

Sydney's POV:

White. All I see is whit wall and floors and everything. My bed is white and my dress is white. If this is some way to reinforce purity on me then they should give up. I haven't been pure in a long time. Thinking of that makes me think of Adrian and Jill. I can't lose my memories of my family. If I do then I might as well say goodbye to who I am in general.

Before I met Adrian I was lost. I followed the alchemist without question even though they are the worst people I have ever met. I didn't know love or kindness. I didn't know that people cared about you just because they liked you and not because they wanted something from you. Adrian opened my eyes to what a family could be like even if our family was dysfunctional. He loved me because he just did and he never gave up. That is my favorite thing about him is that he never gives up. Jill is like a sister or a daughter to me. Probably if we are being honest she is my daughter. When we met she was lost too, she just found out that she was related to The Queen, died, and was being sent away for safe keeping. She had been treated like an object rather than a person. At first we were rocky but it got to a point where we did everything together. We took the same classes, shopped together, and had sleepovers almost every night. It is any wonder that Adrian didn't kick her out a time or two just to steal a few moments with me. I came to love Jill more than my own blood sister. Together Jill and Adrian are the two most important things in my life. If they got hurt I would kill everyone.

The alchemists don't seem to agree with me though. My tattoo has faded to being next to completely gone. I never went in for my re-inkings and I just let it go. Zoe got assigned to L.A. after I graduated from Amberwood. The Alchemist thought I was babying her and she wasn't learning anything. In truth everyone kept things away from her. She was never in the loop and we hardly ever talked but she was close in case I needed her. She had been the one assigned to the case of Sydney Sage. It was her job to track my movements, who I talked to, and my every thought. She is the reason I am sitting in this white box after being tested for God knows what. In her report it said I lived only four doors down from Adrian and that I would go home late at night from his place. I believe they are testing to see if I have a STD. I don't think the alchemists are stupid enough to believe that I haven't had sex. Adrian and I waited till we were sure that Jill wouldn't see anything. I wanted to make sure I could be completely alone with Adrian without Jill knowing firsthand about it. But they could have been testing to see if I was pregnant. I am pretty sure I'm not just because Adrian and I have always been careful and safe. We have never had unprotected sex. Well maybe we have never had unprotected sex. The last time we had sex was three weeks before the alchemist took me and I can't remember if we used protection or not. We didn't plan to have sex and I wasn't really in the right frame of mind to think of something like that. All I can remember is wanting Adrian and that's it. God what if I am pregnant? The alchemists can torture me all they want but I don't know if I could protect my unborn child. Or what if they force me to abort the baby? I would kill myself if I got an abortion forced or not. I couldn't be able to look at Adrian and tell him that. Sitting on the white floor of my room I feel more helpless now than ever before. I hope Adrian comes soon. I know he is looking for me. Once I told him I was scared that the alchemist could take me away from him and he told me 'I will find you no matter what and I won't ever stop until I have found you.' That quote and my memories are the only thing I have now and I can't lose that. I can't lose him. Seeing all the white makes me miss my family more.

"What is your name?" The doctor asks me yet again before another round of tests happen. Honestly I don't know why they are dragging this out. Maybe it's to build suspense so when they actually start to torture me I will fear them more.

"Sydney Katherine Sage."

"Do you know an Adrian Ivashkov?"

"Yes."

"Have you ever slept with him?" Wow, that progressed fast. I would think that question would be further down the line. I mean I would think the alchemists give me more time to come off as a lady.

"Yes." I wasn't embarrassed that I had slept with Adrian. Some of my favorite memories have been having sex with Adrian.

"When was the last time you two had sex?" I don't know why they suddenly care about my sex life. Isn't bad enough that I associated with Adrian on a personal level?

"Three weeks before you guys took me."

"Have you had your period this month?" Had I? Like the whole protection thing I am not sure. My periods are generally the worst thing on earth. Every month for at least the first few days I can't walk, eat, or talk. All I can do is cry my eyes out because Mother Nature hates me and wants to slowly kill me. But even with them being that bed I can't remember.

"I can't remember."

"You are a witch right and Adrian possess the element of spirit right?" Where are they going with this?

"Yes" I say drawing it out a bit.

"Well your tests came back and you are normally healthy, everything seems to be fine however, you are pregnant. Now don't worry nothing bad with happen to you as long as you do as we say. We don't want to endanger the evil creature of the night that is growing inside of you. We will it healthy for later. We might even let you go after the birth if you are good."

"And if not?"

"Well the child will already be an orphan." His words hit me like a ton of bricks. I am going to die and my child will be used by the alchemist. I want to cry and break down but I can't let them win. I have 9 months to find a way out. I know Adrian is looking but I can't just let things happen. I will get out and my baby will be safe. If I was with Jill back home she would be bouncing off the walls right down and Adrian would be freaked out. I wasn't suppose to find out I am pregnant like this. But I sure as hell won't let them near my baby.

**A/N: Like it? Hate it? I need your help! I am not sure if I want to continue with pregnant Sydney so tell me what you think. I had a dream where they forced her into an abortion and I woke up crying but I don't know if I should write that in. So give me your thoughts we have three choices: Miscarriage, abortion, or baby lives. Vote when you review and tell me what you want to see next. **

**Also I know I need to write for Witch Academy put I don't want it to end. Every chapter I write brings it closer to ending but soon I will post an amazing kick ass chapter for that one.**

**Finally, I want to thank you all for your reviews! Remember reviews keep this story alive. No reviews no more story. Plus I am sorry that I subconsciously quoted mean girls. Thanks for reading this. Plus do you guys read my author's note? If so sweet!**

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	4. Chapter 4: The Eddie Situation

Chapter 4: The Eddie Situation

Jill's POV:

"Who are your friends?" The therapist asks. The headmistress and Dimitri got their way so now I am stuck going to therapy once a week to help me transition better. Honestly I don't think it is working. I have been going to the therapist for two weeks now and all she does is ask stupid questions like how am I feeling and what do I like to do? Luckily she hasn't gotten to Sydney or Adrian yet because honestly I don't think I can talk about without breaking down or shutting down. I just can't. It hurts way too much to even think about that sort of thing.

"Where?" I had a lot of friends back in Palm Springs starting off first with Angeline. If Angeline was here then I think I could make it through all this craziness. She was the daring one, always jumping out of things or wanting to go party but at the same time if I was sad she knew just know to bring up my spirits and she understood me. But the Queen has sent her to a different Academy to finish her schooling on the bases I was safe. I think The Queen just wants to keep me isolated and depressed so I will do what she says, like a pawn.

"Anywhere. Here or in Palm Springs." Well she will be disappointed by my answer.

"Here I have absolutely no friends but in Palm Springs I had a huge group of friends. I had my best friend Angeline who is also my guardian, I had the whole volleyball team both varsity and JV, and then comes the guys Micah, Neil, Simon, Trey, and Jax. They are all on the football team or baseball team. Kristin and Julia were also my friends when they went to school there but they graduated my junior year." Thinking about the whole group brought back so much joy. When we all went to school lunch was the highlight of our days. We would all gather around a lunch table and Adrian would sometimes stop by and Julia would flirt with him, all the boys would be talking about some sort game while the volleyball girls and I talked about upcoming matches or how we can improve or game or girl things. It was crazy and loud with everyone shouting over one another but my God was it home. Sometimes I would stop talking and just watch how people from all walks of life can come together and just be friends. The boys would throw food at the girls and the girls made bets with the guys and everyone seemed just to be happy. Then the one minute bell would ring and we would call go our separate ways not until we all knew where we would be meeting up after school and who would be where. That was when I first saw what family was.

"I see you didn't mention Eddie Castile but you talked about your two other guardians." Oh dear, why must we bring up Eddie. His story is complicated and filled with drama, laughs, and miscommunications but in the end his story is about hurt, pain and loss.

"It's a long story." I say in a tone that spoke _we are not talking about this_. It is like I am saying don't pass go and don't collect 100 dollars. You just listen to it. My therapist didn't seem to get the message.

"We have time." The memories started to flood into my mind before I could stop them and when it started it just couldn't stop.

"_Hey Eddie." He is sitting under this huge tree right by the girl's dorm waiting for me like always. We have been at Amberwood for nine months and I have only recently started to feel at ease with the whole Lissa thing. I am sure she will come around and that letter does mean anything and until she sends an apology I have Adrian, Sydney, Angeline, and Eddie. Oh Eddie. After Angeline cheated on him he was more closed off to girls at Amberwood. No one at the school knew of course but they could tell he has been retreating back into his shell. But he would talk to me so we have been talking for the last two months. Somehow knowing Eddie is there for me just makes my day easier and lighter. It's like no matter what I know he will be there to talk to me. _

"_Hey Jill" He says with a smile that is reserved for only me. This smile always causes my heart to melt. It reaches from ear to ear and has so much life and happiness in it that you can just tell that he is happy to see me. _

"_So what are you thinking about?" I say plopping down right next to him. For some reason we always start our conversation of with what each other is thinking about. I know I ask because Eddie's mind is just funny on how it works. Once he was thinking about how many guardians it would take to keep all the humans at this school safe if a mass Strigoi attack happened in December because the time of year matters. Then he took it one step further and said how many Strigoi would there need to be in order to attack and harm the students if there were 50 guardians and 50 Witches protecting the students. He thinks of weird math problems like that all day long. He never gets to get out the answers because we need up on the floor rolling down because we are laughing so hard. His laugh I so down to earth and happy, I love the way it sounds. _

"_I am thinking about you." Well I guess today wasn't a weird math kind of day but I would be lying if I said I wasn't happy that he is thinking about me. _

"_What were you thinking about?" He is my guardian he probably doesn't think about me in the way I want him to. Even though Sydney says up and down that he really likes me. No he likes girls like Angeline, super pretty, out there, and can kick major ass. He probably had a crush on Rose at one time or another. I mean it seems like EVERYONE has liked Rose at one point or another._

"_Just how pretty you are." That catches me completely off guard. Did he say I am pretty? Eddie gently reaches under my chin to that he can look into my eyes "and if you want to go on a date with me." Is he serious? He wants to go out with me! I think this is the best moment ever. He is my best friend and now he liked me like I liked hm._

"_If you are serious then yes I would love too." _

"_I am serious." We just stared at each other after that. Neither of us saying anything but knowing that our lives would change._

"So you two where good friends?" The therapist asks.

"Yes we were." I say trying to hold back the emotions from entering my voice. At a time we had been extremely close.

"What happened?" I really don't like my therapist right now.

"We dated then shit hit the fan." I should correct myself; we went one date before shit hit the fan.

"_Wow you look amazing." Eddie says wonderstruck. I had spent all day with Sydney and Angeline getting ready for this date; my first date. Sydney had gone all Mom on me and took me shopping, got my nails and toes done, and then got my hair done; So then the only thing left to do was to take me to Adrian's where Eddie would be picking me up. While we waited Sydney took a million different photos of me; I was sitting on the couch then standing by the window then sitting at the table. Every pose you can think of, every spot you can think of I was placed in for Sydney's pleasure. She finally stopped taking photos of me when Eddie arrived at 7pm on the dot and only after she got one with us together._

"_Thank you. You don't look half bad yourself." Eddie said that tonight was going to be a surprise. I, unlike Sydney or Angeline, loved surprises. It nice to see just creative someone can be and extremely relaxing just to go with the flow. _

_We ended up far away from school at this little restaurant called __Le Vallauris. It is so perfect. We dined in the garden courtyard with little twinkling lights all above u. We were seated in the center of the courtyard so we could see all the stars. The night air was warm and the sky is clear as far as the eye can see. He really did put time into everything detail for tonight. I could almost cry at how beautiful and romantic this whole place is. _

"_I wanted tonight to be perfect." Eddie says, guessing my thoughts like always. It amazes me how well he knows me and just how perfect we are for each other. I mean we have the same humor, same feeling of duty, and just same heart. Yet we are vastly different. He loves math and hates science. He gets science but he just doesn't like it. Yet everything he says can be put into some sort of math. It is quite funny. He has a very dark way of looking at everything. I know the death of mason has almost everything to do with it and my almost death but he can get extremely dark._

"_It is perfect." I dismiss any thoughts of our differences and just enjoy the night. We talk about everything and anything, from school to The Queen to our favorite TV shows and movies. We laugh about internet memes and how the human government system. We just enjoy ourselves for one night. Because we aren't Eddie and the guardian and Jill the princess he is guarding, we are just Eddie and Jill to teenagers on a date and I could be happier about it. _

"Well what happened after that one date?" Why does she keep pushing? Can't she see just how much this is killing me and how much I miss him but it won't ever be the same? Does she even know what happened to me after that? Of course she doesn't know; she only knows what I told her and Eddie is a new place of conversation. This woman loved to see me in pain, I have concluded. She likes torturing people and seeing them in pain.

"Shit hit the fan." I say in a cold voice, one that I don't see as my own. But what can I say; he brings out the absolute worst in me.

"_Eddie what are you talking about!?" He couldn't be serious! Two days ago we had our amazing date, he even kissed me goodnight. It was perfect and I loved every minute of it. I also thought Eddie loved it seeing as it was his idea and he couldn't stop smiling, he even kissed me but I must have read the signs wrong. I mean this couldn't be happening right?_

"_Jill I am saying I made a mistake; the date it was a mistake. We can't do this. I am your guardian nothing more, nothing less. I should be focused on protecting you from people who want you dead not going out on dates with you. We just won't work Jill. Whatever we have between us is no more." _

_No this is really happening. We are fighting in Adrian's apartment because it is the only place we can fight about these things. Adrian left as soon as we got there sensing a fight was about to take place. Adrian hates fighting with Sydney so I doubt he would want to listen to me and Eddie fight. _

"_Where did this come from? Two nights ago you seemed so happy." This is my plea to Eddie; my plea for him to stop making stupid decisions and just do what your heart wants for a change. We all are all here not because we want to but because we have to, so why can't we live our lives the way we want to? Why do we all have to follow these messed up rules when they don't apply to us anymore. We are from the Island of Misfit Toys; it's time we embraced it._

"_I might have been happy but that is gone. We are done. I am your guardian and nothing else. Do you get that? We are never going to work." His words weren't his; it is like he is trying to convince himself along with me. But I am in no place to argue with a guy on why he should date me. If he wanted to be with me then we wouldn't be having this talk right now._

"_Fine. If this is what you want, then you can't be my friend. You can't talk to me or ask questions or anything. You are here to guard me so do your job. I don't even really want to see you." I sound like a princess; a mean, cold hearted princess but he asked for it. Eddie started all of this so I could be mean. But as the words left my mouth I regretted ever thinking them. Fighting with Eddie hurt so much but what hurt more was that this is what he wanted. He wanted not to be a part of my life other than my guardian. I felt like dying._

"_Fine by me your Highness." With that Eddie left the apartment and I crumpled to the floor sobbing out all of the pain in my heart. First my parents, then Lissa, now Eddie. Who is going to leave my life next? Adrian? Sydney? I would die if I lost them now. They are truly all I have left._

"What happened after that?" Looking at the clock I see we are almost done! Thank God this has been the worst therapy session of my life. People say therapy makes you feel all light and stuff are liars. Therapy hurts and it hurts a lot!

"Adrian and Sydney came back I don't know how long, tucked me into Adrian's bed and told me they would never leave me. Then I got over Eddie and moved on with my life. The day Sydney went missing was the first time in a year Eddie had said something to me." With that I get up and walk out of the stupid office hoping I will never have to return to the place that makes me think of all the bad things in my life. As if my brain wanted to keep the torturing me something Adrian always told me flashed into my mind:

"There will always be hurt and pain in your life but as long as you remember you have good things in your life- as long as you remember you have me in your life the bad won't ever out way the good." God I hoped he was right.

**A/N: Like it? Hate it? Want to cry? Review! And one more thing thank you to all those reviews and I want to know if I should right a sad chapter or a happy chapter. I am thinking sad chapter. I don't know if you understand just how sad Jill's life is. **

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	5. Chapter 5: Pain

Chapter 5: Pain

Sydney's POV:

"Who are you?" It is a question they seem to be asking me a lot recently. Who is Sydney Sage? I don't even know anymore. She used to be an amazing alchemist who did everything by the book. Then she was a witch with a forbidden relationship. Now what defines Sydney? Is it her friends or her job or how much school she will complete? I certainly don't know. But maybe that's a good thing. I mean if I don't know who Sydney is then they sure as hell don't then maybe Sydney doesn't even exist. Maybe she can disappear.

"I… I don't know." I stammered. I am trying to be honest. What was that old rhyme about being honest and spiders or something like that? Or is honesty just not possible with everything that gets flittered before we even know. Who knows maybe honesty isn't real just like Sydney Sage. Maybe they both can disappear. I am sure life would be easy that way; A life without honesty and Sydney. Does that rhyme? If not then they should they both end in 'Y'.

"Not good. Do you know your name?" The guy in the white coat asks. That's a good question. What is my name? Does it end in 'Y' or 'P'? I would like it very much if my name ended in 'P'. That would mean it is unique and everyone likes someone who is unique right?

"Ummm… my name … my name … "What is my name? "You can tell me! What is my name?" That is great idea. These people want to help me right? Of course they will tell me my name. They will answer any question that comes to mind. These people; these people are my friends. I have friends!

"Who is your family?" The man sounds worried. Why would he be worried? I am perfectly fine here as long as the Eyes come back. The Eyes are multi colors with purple and green and blue! Sometimes The Eyes are even grey; they could be pretty if The Eyes smiled. Can eyes smile? I am sure they can. Everything else can smile. But The Eyes make me feel pain. They make me see blood and fire. They make me fall asleep and never wake up. Sometimes The Eyes are in my dreams. They find me everywhere. I can't go to them again! I will be a good girl just don't let The Eyes near me. They are scary.

"Sydney!" A name is called. Is that my name? I don't think so Sydney is no one. Sydney disappeared. No one can be her.

"Don't let The Eyes near me!" I scream "I will be good I promise. I will stay here forever. Just please keep them far, far away. They are mean. They make me hurt. They are big and colorful, like a rainbow; a big mean rainbow. Are rainbows mean in general because if they are I don't ever want to see a rainbow? They are mean like The Eyes! The Eyes! Please keep them away!" Tear came from my eyes so fast. Does that normally happen? DO tears just do that or do you make them do that? Can I make them stop? Stop tears!

"No one will let them near you if you answer the question. Who is your family?" They sound nice. Can they be trusted? But they had a question. Who is my family? Oh that's easy. I know the answer to this! I should get candy for it!

"Adrian Ivashkov and Jill Dragomir." Memories! Memories coming so fast that they hurt. They cause pain but way less than The Eyes could ever. My rock – Adrian. He has always been there for me and he will always be there for me. Jill my sister, my crazy amazing perfect sister. God I wish I was with her right now. I bet she is freaking out. We were each other's partner in crime. No matter what happened it could be the three of us against the world. Four. The four of us because _my baby_. What have they done to my baby!

"What have you done to me and my baby?!" I scream at them with such venom and hate that it could have poisoned you with just one breath. By the look on their faces they left it. They left all the hate and anger and distain I felt towards them. They understood that one way or another I am going to live but they might die. Sydney Sage hasn't disappeared; that could never happen. Closing my eyes, I feel the magic rise up in me. It is like a lioness preparing to kill her prey; every move is tracked and calculated till the right time to strike. Looking back into their eyes I can feel the life drain out of their faces as they see in my eyes their death. That is all I remember before the darkness takes me over once more.

Jill's POV:

"Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to Jill, happy birthday to me." I sing to myself as the sun starts to rise over the mountains. Today is my birthday. I remember planning this big day with Sydney. We were going to go up to Malibu and have a really nice day at the beach. I know, I can't really stand the sun too much but I was willing to fry on my birthday if that meant I could go to the beach. Then after the beach we would have dinner at this great little restaurant called Sage Room Restaurant. Adrian found it on trip advisor.

"_I like the mint green dress since it brings out your eyes." I said to Sydney as we went through dress after dress online. My birthday is a few months away but why not plan it in advance so we can make it perfect. I mean you only turn 18 once! You have to do a grand celebration right! _

"_Look what I found!" Adrian says plopping down in the middle of us! He had his Mac Book Pro opened to Trip Advisor. "Sage Room Restaurant! Rated number three on trip advisor!" Adrian looks so proud of himself and through the bond I know he only picked this place because it has Sydney's name in it. Adrian complained that he was being left out a few weeks ago and so we said he could pick the restaurant only if it was in the top three on Trip Advisor. I mean for my big day I couldn't go to somewhere bad! But seeing that there is a restaurant that has Sydney's last name takes the cake._

"_We are so going there!" I declare in Sydney's face! She looks absolutely mortified! Great, Adrian and I are doing our job right then._

"_Please Jill I think we could go somewhere else." She is trying not to hurt my feelings but I just can't help it. This is just too great!_

"_Sorry Syd. But I love it. Adrian book it please!" Sydney looks so hurt it made me want to try but then Adrian kissed her! Throwing a pillow at them so it doesn't get too carried away while I am there. _

"_Okay bye you guys. I don't want to see were this goes." I say over my shoulder as I walk out into the beautiful Palm Springs sun set. Wow my life is amazing._

But instead I have spent the entire day up in the attic of the old church. Today is just one of those days that are too painful to see people. To be honest I really couldn't deal with school on a normal day here at the academy. Everyone has something to say about me. Like they know what my life has been like or everything that I have gone through. But the whispers are still there with every look and head turn I know I only give them more to talk about. Some say "She is The Queen's sister? Wow, The Queen must have gotten all the good genes in that family." Others are far meaner by saying "She is just way too ugly to be pretty. She has been tainted with that weird Alchemist and all those humans. She isn't even a Moroi. She is Just a freak." Plus a whole lot more. Everyone comments on my hair or my shoes or anything. No one cares that they are talking about a person. No I am looked at as an object that can be discussed because I don't have any feelings.

Tears start to roll down my face as I start to think about what everyone says. _Why does everyone hate me? _I think to myself. It is not like I need to be the most liked but no one talks to me ever. No one tries to be my friend. I have tried to befriend some of the non-royals but they too can't stand me. _What did I do to have every single person hate me_? The tears become sobs and before I know it I am huddled in a corner balling my eyes out. The more I think about Sydney or Adrian or my school or Palm Springs the more I seem to cry. _"Even her parents didn't want her."_ The nasty words of my peers flood my brain and they are put on repeat. "_She is just too unlovable." "Life would be so much easier if she just died." "No one even cares about her." "I heard Adrian planned Sydney's kidnapping to get away from Jill." _ Every mean or cruel word hurt more and more every time my brain replayed it. I couldn't even think anything other than the fact that everyone in my life that I have ever loved is gone. All I could do is cry and cry and cry.

Soon I felt someone hold me and I cried into their shirt. I don't know how long I cried like that but soon I ran out of tears and I went limp.

**A/N: Like it? Hate it? Want to cry? I cried. But if you want to see more just review and I will continue. Also who likes crazy Sydney because she is a blast to write and I intend to make her crazier and just have fun with it. Anything goes in re-education right? **

**Also I just have to say thank you to all my followers, reviewers, and people who have made this story a favorite. I love that I get to share my writing with all you wonderful people and I hope this is a chapter worth reading. **

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	6. Chapter 6: Believe Me

Chapter 6:

**Sorry about the late update! Been busy with trying to wrap up school and all. PS in this chapter things get graphic. It really gets bad the last three paragraphs in the flashback so if you don't want to read it skip it! Thanks for reading as always and onto the story.**

Jill's POV:

Never ask the question if things can get worse because they can and always do.

"Liss, what are you doing here?" I ask in a small voice. I don't know how long she has been here or how long I have been crying but my guess would be awhile.

"I know it has been a hard few months being here at the academy so I came to see you for your birthday." She announces as if somehow her presence will make me happy. Scooting away from her, I let my mind register everything that has happened in the last few months. I am in therapy with a woman who is trying to convince me that Palm Springs never happened, I go to a school where I am the most hated person there, no friends, certainly no family, and my bond mate is looking for my sister who may or may not be dead lying on the side of the round somewhere. There is a reason I decided not to think about the current state of my life and that's because it makes me want to cry all over again. But I will not cry in front of Liss. I will not show her weakness and let her win. So I suck back my tears and think of a diplomatic way of getting out of her presence.

"Thanks, I guess. But I am sure you have Queen Things to do I shouldn't keep you from them." I say standing up and backing up toward the exist. But a smile grew on her face like none I have ever seen before- well she never really smiles at me anyways but that is besides the fact.

"I took some time off so I could spend time with you on your birthday. I feel like we have gotten off on the wrong foot but we are family and we should try and get along. Maybe if you would stop fighting me and the kids here at school you would learn we aren't so bad and we really do want to get to know you." She stands as well but keeps her distance from me. I might have punched her because of how passive aggressive she is but I don't want to fight with anyone on my birthday. That is why I came to this attic so that I could get away from everyone. But she doesn't get that! She is blaming my current state if depression on me. Partly she is right, I am not sure how but I know from life that everything can be everyone's fault. But it is like she doesn't even see all the wrong she did. She doesn't take any of the blame for herself.

"I don't want to fight with you today seeing as it is my birthday but I don't agree with a word that has left your mouth and sorry but you are not here to see what happens to me on a daily basis. So you cannot passively tell me that everything is my fault." I inform her barely holding back tears.

"Well then, tell me what your day is like." She says determined to have a conversation with me. But I don't think she will like what she is going to here. Liss has constructed this fairytale world in which she lives in but my words will ruin it for her. Thinking back on these past few months one day in particular sticks out. I steady myself as the memory rushes back tenfold.

_I love Saturday s in general. No school in the morning so you can sleep in and no school early the next morning so you can stay up as late as you want. I believe the week should have three or four Saturday s all lined up back to back because one Saturday a week just doesn't cut it in my book. _

_I have been at the academy for three weeks and I have started to get used to the schedule and things. Sure I miss my boarding school and going to Clarence's house for feedings with the family but I am warming up to this new school. _

_I think the real reason I have been warming up to this place is because a guardian in training invited to a party tonight. I learned how to make friends at Amberwood extremely easily and those skills have helped me make my first friend at this school. I am excited for that! I will have someone to talk to and eat lunch with and a friend just to hang with. I haven't really gone out at all and all the royals hate me; so to get this invite made my day to say the least. _

_Rolling over on my bed, I see that the time is midday for the vampires or middle of the night for humans. It still unnerves me a bit with the whole flopped times but today is a new day and I intend on making the best of it. Sydney would say that the tides are turning in my favor and not to miss my chance. I completely agree! Who knows maybe my time at the academy won't be so bad after all. After getting dressed, I head over to the track where I run every Saturday at this time. It has become routine for me and it gives me a fixed point in time that sort of stabilizes me. I know it is weird but at Amberwood I had a lot of these fixed points in time: Tuesday and Friday feedings, Saturday brunch with the family, Sunday cram session with Angeline, and Monday runs with Eddie. After everything that has happened in my life I need some structure and balance. _

_Around my twentieth lap I see the guardian in training – I know they are called novices but I just don't like that name – that invited me to the party. He is tall around 6'5", extremely muscular, dark brown hair and eyes but a really nice warm smile. He is a friendly guy._

"_Hey Jax!" I say as he falls into step with me. _

"_Hey Jill!" He says giving me a warm smile "Are you ready for tonight?" _

"_Of course I am. I can't wait to let loose and make some friends." His face changes a bit. A dark shadow crosses over his eyes like for a second he is hiding something dark from me but it quickly passes. I brush it off as we continue our run in a comfortable silence._

"_Be on your guard tonight Jill." Jax warns me as he heads away. Weird._

_The party is out in the woods by where the old cabins used to be. I say used to be because after Rose left, the school tore down each cabin in fear more kids would use them as places to have sex in. I had to laugh at that because I know for a fact that students were having sex in the cabins long before Rose ever did but her one time got them all torn down. The power of Rose Hathaway should not be ignored. _

_As I reached the party I could hear the music blasting loud shaking all the trees. Looking down at my clothes I told myself I made the right decision. I am wearing tight skinny jeans, with black boots and a cream colored silk strapless shirt that synched right under my boobs and followed beautifully away. The outfit said 'I want to party' but not 'I am a cheap whore' either. As I entered the party all eyes turned to me, the crowd stopped talking and I felt like a mouse led to a trap. I instantly tried to run away but to large guardians in training blocked me. I am trapped, just great._

"_Welcome little Jill, it's so good you could join us." Rebecca Zelkos said loudly. This is my trail I thought bitterly she is my judge. Rebecca is bitch worse than her cousin Jessie in my opinion. She is pure evil, and has made my life at the academy thus far a living hell. If she is my judge then I better get ready for my excursion that she no doubt has planned. _

"_Yeah, well your party sucks so I am going to go." I say but the two guys behind me left me up and throw me into the center of this circle. _

"_Not so fast! You haven't had a drink yet." With that being said everyone at the party throw their cup at me. Some even got the keg and sprayed me down with beer until I am completely soaked through and through. I silently thanked God that my shirt was not see-through. Rebecca on the other hand was not happy about that. I think she wanted to humiliate me on all levels and she failing at this one did not sit right with her._

"_How about some food, you look like a dog." Then again the crowd started to throw dog food at me till my hair and clothes where completely matted with it. But I would not give her that satisfaction of seeing me break down in front of her because of a few pounds of dog food and beer. Rebecca is just a power hungry bitch she will be done soon enough and I will have learned that you cannot trust guardians or moroi. I wish she would have ended it there. _

_Rebecca getting off her ass with a bat in hands starts to beat me with it, then as to signify the next part in torturing me, everyone wants to try and get a few good hits on me. I cover my head with my arms in an attempt to avoid a concussion. If I can get through this then it will be over I think and I try to will it to be the truth but just as the bats stop hitting me Rebecca says "Boys have fun." Fear and panic both hit me as I am aware what boys do to girls when they are drunk and want to hurt her. Just as fast as my emotions hit me I feel arms grab me a pin me down. I try to fight it, thrashing back and forth but someone just hits me with a bat to try and get me to stop. Nails dig into wrists and ankles as others pull my top off along with my pants. I scream and scream but all I can hear is the muffled sounds of laughter. Tear sting my eyes as I feel guys biting me everywhere: my arms, belly, thighs, nipples. Everywhere they touch me and violate me. Then I feel them slip into me pushing and shoving trying to get their turn with me. Tears flow out of my eyes as they pull my hair and starch my skin and use me as their own personal toy. In, out, in, out, then the next boy comes and does the same thing. At one point one of the boys gets tired of hearing me scream and cry so he ties a banana tightly around my mouth causing me to gag. Some boys are getting off watching this and empty themselves all over me. At one point my brain shuts off and I just wait it out till all the boys have had an enough and leave and they do one by one each calling a not so nice name. _

_When everyone is gone I just lay there not moving I don't even think I am breathing. I lay there wishing when I died at court all those many years ago I would have stayed dead. Then all of these bad things wouldn't have happened to me. I would be laying six feet under and everyone would talk about what a tragedy it is that I died so young and what I could have done with me life. _

_Eventually I got up wincing every time pain shot through my body. I fix my clothes and straighten my hair as much as possible. Then I walked back to my room and took a shower, and another and another. I showered until I started to bleed from all the scrubbing. I threw away all the clothes the put on a big over sized sweater and big over sized sweat pants and cried myself to sleep refusing to think about everything that happened._

"Every day at this academy has been a variation of hell. Some days are worse than others but any way you slice it, it all just sucks." I say to Liss as I finish the story about my first and last party. A part of me hopes that she will go and find the people that did that horrible thing to me and have them punished. Some part of me hopes that my story jump starts her heart and makes her act like my older sister.

"Well I am sorry you think that thing happened to you. I know your therapist put you on medication for awhile around that time and it is probably just a nasty side effect to that. But I can assure you that Rebecca Zelkos is a wonderful upstanding girl who only speaks highly of you but wishes you were more social. She says she invites you to plenty of parties and outings but you turn her down. You just need to forget out this crazy dream you had and get your imagination under control. I am sure things are not as bad as you as say little drama queen. Now I have to run, your little story was longer then what I had expected and I must be getting back to court. We will talk again soon." With that little speech The Queen left the attic.

Working on auto pilot I manage to make it back to my room and change into some sweats and one of Adrian old shirts. This old shirts give me something to hold onto. Under my door is a small letter to me. Climbing onto my bed with the letter I read the first words I have read from Adrian in a long time.

_Dear Jailbait,_

_It has been a long time since I have called you that but I felt like being nostalgic because it is your 18__th__ birthday! You are no longer jailbait yet you are still a beautiful young woman. I wish we could have your party like we had planned but Sydney and I will make it up to you I promise. I am close to finding her I believe so just hold onto hope and we will be coming for you soon. Happy Birthday my Bondmate! I love you so very much. I hope school is well and you have at least made a friend if not when we find Sydney she can make you another Hopper for a friend. I know that is lame but you really loved Hopper. Anyways I have to go. Keep in touch._

_Adrian. _

Clutching that letter to my chest I cry myself asleep praying that what Adrian says is true and they are coming to rescue me from hell.

**Love it? Hate it? Hate me? I know I hate myself for making that happen to Jill. As I was writing I stopped and took a break just to prolong what happened. I am sorry if you think Liss is cold and bitchy but that is how I see her. I don't think she will come around but you never know and I got a review asking for a happy moment so I wrote in this flashback because it started off as a happy moment. :/ Also I believe all Zelkos – besides Ivan – are evil and mean. It's just in their family line. **

**So tell me what you think! Review please.**

**Disclaimer**

**DA**


	7. Chapter 7: Waking up

**A/N: Hello everyone I have to say I have had fun writing this story but sadly it is coming to a close mainly because I don't where to go from here and I don't really know what to write. But I will always end my stories so I will close this in an interesting way. Also I may pick up this story later but for now I am going to shift back to Witch Academy and the sequel that I still don't have a name for and I might make a horror fic about re education just because I want to explore darker topics. Anyways that's enough of my update! Enjoy the story. Oh self harm is present in this chapter.**

Jill's POV

_The walls start closing in on me and I don't remember where I am. Am I at Amberwood or at Court? I don't know! Fear rises up inside me and I start to scream. However my screams fall on deaf ears, I am all alone. I am all alone! No one cares about me. Sydney got taken. Adrian left me behind. The Queen hates m. No one wants me around. No one would even care if I died! I should die to escape this hell hole. I hate the Academy and I hate The Queen. Mostly I just hate myself. Why couldn't I just have died at that dinner? I should have died. I am not worth saving. _

_Taking the razor for what seems to be the hundredth time I start to make the little lines that make all the bad thoughts go away. I have been doing this kind of therapy ever since my birthday. I just couldn't take the pain anymore. I wasn't strong enough. But the razor helps. It makes me forget and I fall into bliss. Yes this is a good thing. Most would disagree until you told them I am cutting then they would say I should just kill myself. Why put off what everyone wants you to do right? But I don't really want to die I just want to make it all stop. I want all the whispers to stop and the glances and the way everyone hates me. I just want peace and the razor gives me that. _

_The blood coats my arm so much that I can't see the cuts or how deep they actually are. Tensing my muscles in my left arm I see the blood start to gush out. The blood spills over the edge of my arm and wistfully drops on the bathroom floor. Every drop splashes on the cool white tile. It's beautiful really; how each drop seems to make a deep red rose. Each drop is a petal of a much bigger rose falling gracefully onto a new canvas. _

_A cold wind rushes in and again I don't know where I am. Am I in Palm Springs with my family or am I under the microscope of the Court. I really can't tell. Everything seems the same all blurry and blacking. The word starts to close in and I can't remember anything really. All I can feel is myself falling deeper into a pool of blackness. Blackness covers around me and it's all I see. The bliss is replaced by people screaming and just black noise. That all fades away too. Nothing stays just the deep sea of black numbness. I slip away without anyone remembering me; without anyone caring about me. The last thing I think is Sydney please forgive me before slipping into the complete dark._

I scream as my body shoots straight up leaving behind a painful memory. It's been two years since Adrian found Sydney, two years since I left the eyes of court, two years since the last time I … rubbing my arms I get up and look out the window of my bedroom. Right now we live in a small town in Canada; well there is a small town about a half an hour from our small house. That is the closest we can live to others with my 'fragile state' as Sydney likes to say. She doesn't want anything triggering my bad habits again. Does she know the memories haunt me even when I am awake? The scares on my arms don't just go away and no matter how hard I try I cannot for the life of me forget what happened to me at that school. But I can't tell Sydney this she blames herself for my 'fragile state'. She says she should have protected me better because that's what sisters do but she has cease to be my sister in a long time. She is more of my mother, my rock in this world. I believe I would fall to pieces if I didn't have her by my side clueing me back together.

Looking out my window all I see is snow, pure, white, untouched snow. How I wish to go back to the days where I was just pure, white, untouched snow. But those days are long gone. Now I am like a Humpty dumpty. The nursery rhyme starts to play in my head before I can banish the thought.

'_Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall:_

The tears in my eyes start to multiply as I try to hold them back. It has been two years since anything bad has happened to me. I should be over this by now. I shouldn't still feel so weak.

_Humpty Dumpty had a great fall._

_I had some bad things happen to me sure. I lost those who where important to me. But I got them back. I got back Adrian and Sydney my family. Why do I feel so broken?_

_All the King's horses and all the King's men_

_The tears spill over the edge and before I know it again I am sobbing. Sobbing because I am weak, sobbing because I am broken, and sobbing because I still feel like no one wants me. Like I am a burden to the two people I love the most. _

_couldn't put Humpty together again!_

Maybe I will always be broken…

Sydney's POV:

I watch her every night. I know I shouldn't and maybe if I stopped watching her she would get better but I just can't help it. Ever since I got out of re education I have been hovering over Jill. It could be because I lost my baby and I have mentally replaced my baby with Jill. I know I shouldn't. I know I should mourn the death of my child and try to understand what happened back at re education but I can't. If I do I might break down, if I even for a second think about what happened I don't think I will come back from that. So I don't think about it because right now Jill needs me. She has always needed me.

I watch like I do every night. She goes to bed and I think tonight will be different; that she don't dream about the memories that haunt her mind. But then before long I hear the tell tell sounds of her reliving the past. I might not have vampire hearing but I am toned into Jill's every moment. I hear the bed squeak and the rumbling of the sheets and before I know it I am in the door frame just watching her.

_At least she doesn't scream for me_. I think dryly

Before every night she would scream for me and beg me to come and find her. I would shake her till she woke up and even splashed water on her to bring her back to the waking world. I would go to the ends of the earth and back to make sure she is safe. That is why I suggested moving away from Italy. Our Italian home was beautiful. We had a garden and a huge back yard that went on for days. I could have gotten lost in the beauty of that place but Jill stayed inside all the time. She jumped at every movement and every sound. She was falling back into the patterns we had worked to get her out of. Adrian was about to shoot his brains out because he didn't know how to help her so I suggested we move to a quieter place; A place far away from people and noise, so she can recover. What I meant was we needed to move because if Jill almost died again I would have died. Adrian knew, he always knew but he didn't say a word. We never talked about re education, or Jill, or my relationship with Jill. But he saw that now Jill was more my daughter than sister and that re education had made me jumpy. I can't stand water and I would freak out more if Jill was gone. Jill has saved me more than she knows.

Her sobs fill the room and for a second I freeze. I freeze because if I didn't slip up then she would have been safe. It is my fault I got taken and if I was more careful then she would have been safe. I freeze because for a split second I start to feel the tears brimming in my eyes then my body kicks into gear and the tears go away and I find myself with my arms wrapped around Jill calming her. Telling her without words that I am always here, always watching.

"I had the dream again." She says in-between sobs.

"How much did you re live?" I ask hoping it was not the worst of it. Hoping her mind skipped the rape and the cutting.

"All of it. From when you first were taken till the ra... rape… and the cut … cutt… cutting and everything." The sobs shake her whole body and I mentally kick myself for being hopeful. I am always hopeful when it comes to Jill.

"It's okay." I coo to her "it is okay. That is the past and I am here now. I won't let anything happen to you. Never again will anything happen to you." The words come out stronger and firmer than I thought is possible. They sound so sure and safe. I am astonished that they came from me. But they do the trick with Jill and her sobs dry up and she soon is breathing normally. Looking at me, her saying everything our lips won't. Those eyes are full of trust and hope and love. She knows that our relationship has changed but neither of us will ever say it. Just as well, we don't need words to know the unspoken truth.

"Adrian" Jill whispers and I know he hears his name and I know he knows what will happen next. "Where is Adrian?" She has moved past just wanting to know I am with her but now Adrian. To feel safe she needs to know that we are both here to protect her.

Soon enough he appears at the doorway and Jill lets out the breath she has been holding. She then nods and crawls out of my arms and back into her bed under the cover. Adrian comes and sits next to her telling her that she doesn't have to fear anything, that she is safe and loved. She smiles a real smile the first in two years. I know Adrian sees it, he always sees. This is the first time that Jill has been happy in the past two years. I let out the breath I have been holding. Adrian coos her back to sleep and she sleeps soundly after that. Adrian and I stay with her for hours after that. We never know how long but both on edge because we don't want her to have any fears. But she sleeps the whole night without another bad dream.

This is our nightly routine. Every night we do the same thing. I know we shouldn't. I know we should think of her as our sibling but we have put her through hell. We should make sure that she is alright. Adrian knows how I feel even if we don't talk. He has always known and I love that about him.

He pulls me out of the room around 4 in the morning, sleep deprived and blurred eyed but with a huge smile on his face.

"She smiled Sydney." He says with pure happiness covering his voice so much so that a tear escaped my eyes.

"I know Adrian." Then more tears after to fall and Adrian out of nowhere leans forward and plants a soft kiss on my lips. It is the first time he has kissed me in two years. The first for a lot of things happened tonight. I eagerly kissed him back and before I knew it I my legs were wrapped around his waist as he pulled me into our room.

I haven't spent much time in this room however. I have always been with Jill. But she is getting better and maybe I can too.

She smiled for the first time in two years; things might not be so broken after all. I mean I have the man I loved with the most amazing daughter in the world. I know I shouldn't think of Jill that way but I do.

Around eight in the morning I sneak back into Jill's room and watch her. I watch her like I do every night but this time is different. There is a smile on her lips and she looks at peace. I know I shouldn't watch her but I just can't help it. Smiling at the sleeping angel I watch her till it is time for breakfast.


End file.
